Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
