next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
