I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
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For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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