My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
