you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
