Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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