It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
no. you can't hotbox the world.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i think my cat just said my name.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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