Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
