I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
