Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
