cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
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I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
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I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize