brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Come share oat with me in your robe
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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