Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
