Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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