I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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