Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize