We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I touched a dick in church today
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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