I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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