dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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