Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize