I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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