Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
