this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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