Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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