ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
