At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When are your genitals available?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
