Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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