Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
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Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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