I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
