worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
