Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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