The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
