I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
