Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Acid is not a monday night drug
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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