just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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