doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I believe in your delicious
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
