Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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