I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
