no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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