Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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