Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
