You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
