"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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