The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
