I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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