Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
