maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
