you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize