What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
