Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
