Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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