yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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