You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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