I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
