I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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