I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
