Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
