So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
