is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
