I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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